this is my shitty writing abils..
giv'er



1.
today's the day, she says to me.
the day that's going to set me free
my words shall float across the sky
and there they remain til the day that i die

her name now a name of which no one speaks
she; the one with eyes as bright as the sun
is the one who decided her day had come
she promised herself a time of change
is now the one who has become estranged

no phone calls, she explains to her mother
i never want to see another.
i want to write a poem of love
to set my thoughts free on the wings of a dove
she shuts out the world and is left alone
so she can lie on her floor and let her mind roam

her name now a name of which no one speaks
locked herself in her room for weeks
all her mother heard was footsteps and creaks
she wrote in the day and reviewed in the night
none of her words came out just right

her name now a name of which no one speaks
from the dark there came a storm
with only one purpose which was to warn
her mother did not see the warning
and ended up in perpetual mourning

her name now a name of which no one speaks
she wrote a note, her mother said
and out loud that note her mother read,
i tried to write can't you see
that i can't handle just being me


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2.

the day, today, equipt and in her disguise
she's everything i hate, everything i dispise.

when you need a hand, she will not be there.
she's everything i hate, everything i fear.

she doesn't look away, looks straight into their eyes
she's everything i hate, with all her deciet and lies.

she will tear you down in anyway she can
she's everything i hate, she's everything i am.

now, life alone without her by my side,
i'm way to scared to continue on this ride.

she's the one i'll never forget,
losing her i'll always regret.

she will tear you down in anyway she can
she was everything i hate, she was everything i am.

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3.
just one gentle touch of its sweet and captivating poison, suddenly its the bones that hold you together, it's the air that fills your lungs. it's the only thing you love, it's the only thing you trust. living without it is seemingly impossible. even if you could, you're never totally sure you would. it's what makes you tick, it's what makes you you. so the everyday people view you as a monster, as an addict. they want to make you stop. they are ashamed. but why? it's your fool proof, temporary remedy for the wars you conduct with yourself. its your escape from the days that tend to take a vital piece of you. sometimes its hard to control, impossible not to indulge. if it makes you complete, how could it possibly break you down? before that day, i hadn't a clue. as much as it has killed me, i hope it won't hurt you.

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4.
the steady sound of rain pounding against the thin fabric which seperates me from the world is near deafening. i am alone, as i am most times. id say im used to it, but to be completely honest its difficult to get used to. the air is starting to chil and you can tell summer has come to an abrupt hault. i struggle to remember how i got here, who i was with and what i had done. i struggle to remember my name and my age. all in all, i'm struggling to ind an absolution in what some people would call life. this isn't life. how can you live if you've died and decayed? although my mind was a few steps ahead, im sure my body is near behind.

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5.
she saw her first sight of real life through the cracks of her protectors weathered arms. laying close to their unstable armour she watches, sobbing, begging for the retun of her beloved ignorance. this is new. this is menacing.


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6.
there are voices in your head
screaming so loud that you can't hear
all logic has since fled from the chaos inside you
knowing those thoughts that creep inside you,
the ones that tear apart your sanity,
you realize these things your mind develop are false,
yet you give in because you just can't
let
them
go...
so, just let me know when you've sunken so low
that everyday brings you down and shakes whats left
of your decaying mental stability.
let me know if you still have doubt.